Sunday, November 26, 2006

Shopping etiquette

As mentioned in the previous post, we left The South of Iowa for The Central of Iowa this weekend. We stopped at the Menard's store on the east side to get A) a halogen work light, B) a mailbox for the neighbor to replace the one I hit with my planter earlier this year, and C) a fire extinguisher.

Because of this, I remember why I hate shopping, especially on weekends right before Christmas.

Some people, for whatever reason, must unplug their common sense module when shopping during the holiday season. They become some of the dumbest, self-absorbed, unaware forms of living creatures (Paris Hilton-like sheep come to mind). Here are a few examples:

1) When pushing a cart and eyeing something across the aisle, shoppers tend to drift across lanes toward their discovery, unaware that on-coming traffic will be disrupted and be forced to take evasive measures. - Bob's Ettiquette: Turn across the lane after looking out for on-coming traffic and go to the item you are interested in, standing as close as you can to it with your cart out of the way of other shoppers.

2) Some folks find it useful to walk two, maybe three wide. Walking slowly while doing so helps to cause others to go out of their way around. The slow wide walkers are usually ignorant of this. Bob's Ettiquette: Form a single file and walk directly to what you are looking for, then gather around said item and discuss it there, out of the way of others.

3) When leaving the big box store, there will usually be someone wanting your parking spot, and wait in the parking lane for you to leave. However, they'll leave you about 5 feet to get out, causing you to contort your neck to make sure you don't tap his GMC Tahoe's front bumper. Bob's Ettiquette: Give the backer-outer as much room as you can, dumb-ass.

Really folks, it's not that difficult. Common sense isn't dead, but it must be on life support in this day and age.

It makes living in a small town much more enjoyable. Parking is no more than 20 feet away, the store owners know your name, and traffic congestion is when you have to wait more than 10 seconds at a stop sign.


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