Sunday, July 15, 2007

Heil Bert!

In an attempt to entertain my kids, I went on YouTube and found videos of the new Tickle Me Elmo Extreme. They LOVE Elmo on Sesame Street, and of course, they were entertained by the TMX Elmo videos.

Then I found a video with the TMX Elmo and what was called the KMX Ernie. I don't know what the "K" stand for, but in the video, Elmo was laughing in English, and Ernie was in Spanish. OK, no problem.

But then, I found a video for KMX Ernie in German. Wow, you talk about things not translating from one culture to another and back. Here's the vid:

For those of you not fluent in Toy German, let me translate:
- Ha, ha, we are the master race!
- We shall reclaim the Sudetenland!
- The Beer Hall Putsch was compromised by Big Bird!
- Heil Bert!

Or something.

To be honest, would you really want a toy that sounded like an old man hacking up his left lung, grabbing its crotch, and saluting the Fuhrer?

There is just something wrong with hearing a toy laugh and speak German, the language of obedience, and flail around on the floor at the same time.


Blogger kevintracy said...

Haha! I want one! Thats my christmas gift to friends this year!

12:57 PM, July 16, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was scary.

I always had a dislike for all things sesame street even as a little kid I knew there was something not quite right about it. It was dirty, dark, dingy, people lived in squalor. I mean a guy lived inn a freaking trash can. I also seen precious few white people.

As I became an adult I knew they had their agenda. It's public television after all.

"Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet "

Uh huh. I'm sure sesame street smells real sweet. I've been to New York City. I've lived there for a short time. It don't smell sweet Jack. It smells like urine, vehicle exhaust, body odor, garbage and feces. Mostly urine.

"Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street"

We, keep going until you get to the bad part of town and start seeing the following: liquor stores, abandoned buildings and cars, people hanging out on the corners, trash in the streets, crack houses, curbside business like recreational pharmaceuticals or female/male companionship services and a conspicuous lack of white folks.

"Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet"

If your game is slinging crack rock and dodging stray bullets by all means. The neighbors are pretty friendly unless they're from a rival gang doing a drive-by or of course if you're white.

"Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street"

Well, if you're the above whitey you're not asking "How to get to Sesame Street?" You're asking "How did I end up on Sesame Street!?!??!"

"It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful "

Magic carpet ride? You bought at the recreational pharmaceutical market didn't you? Those doors opening wide are people coming out of their buildings to roll you. Yeah they're happy alright. Happy to rob and beat you for being in their hood.

"Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street..."

Nope. Now you're screaming "Can you tell me how to away from,
How to get away from Sesame street!!!"

You'll be lucky to make it out alive whitey.

5:25 AM, July 17, 2007  

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