Monday, December 11, 2006

Slightly lower brands of alcohol...

Today, while waiting at the Hy-Vee in Chariton to get a prescription filled, I saundered over to the hard liquor section next to the pharmacy. I perused the various tonics and their rather unique names.

One thing that strikes you in the alcohol world is that oftentimes a manufacturer will put out a brand of rum/whiskey/vodka that looks similar to the "premium" brand, at least at first glance, but is not the same as the desired brand. This knock-off is not usually of the same caliber as the high level item, but I suspect that if a person was drunk and in a hurry for more booze, the lower price, as well as the "just as good" looking label, would be sufficient for purchase.

Here are a few examples of the Premium, Knock-Off, and "Economy" versions (or at least envisioned by The South of Iowa).

Rum
Premium: Captain Morgan
Knock-Off: Admiral Nelson
Economy: Deckmate Dickey

Whiskey
Premium: Jack Daniels
Knock-Off: Evan Williams
Economy: John Doe

Vodka
Premium: Absolut
Knock-Off: Relative
Economy: Variable

Whiskey
Premium: Southern Comfort
Knock-Off: Midwestern Displeasure
Economy: Northern Constipation

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny!

2:30 AM, December 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stick with the grape.

9:54 PM, December 12, 2006  
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I remember back in High school and College drinking such wonderful knock offs as Hawkeye Vodka and Tortilla Tequilla.

BGunzy you are probably old enough to remember "Beer" the generic beer grocery stores used to sell back when all generic products were black and white. A buddy of mine still has an unopened can.

9:38 AM, December 15, 2006  
Blogger bgunzy said...

Yeah, I barely remember "Beer". Who would want to drink that stuff? Ugh!

8:22 PM, December 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sell "Beer" on ebay, it's probably worth a lot by now.

12:56 AM, December 18, 2006  
Anonymous Bearpaw said...

I was told that "BEER" was brewed at the Falstaff Brewery in Omaha.
Somehow, when I think of brewing towns, Omaha doesn't come to mind.

6:54 PM, December 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey man, nice article, but Southern Comfort is def. not a whiskey. Makes me second guess everything you say

6:30 PM, March 09, 2008  

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